Recap, Reboot and Reinvent
Intro
Just over a fortnight ago (30 October to be exact), I threw all caution to the wind (P.M.S. and I since learnt, via my Eleven Moon Moods of Woman Kundalini course just completed, my most out-of-sorts Pink of Cheeks phase converges every month to turn me into a raging Ninja for two days). I put my Prof in the firing line, bulleting words like integrity, player, perfunctory, insincerity, coldness, let-down, sadness, clinical care, cryptic and toying squarely at him.
Two days later, I received an early-morning Voice Note on my BB (first time I actually learnt of this handy facility!) Two hours later, I received the unavoidable follow-up call. All the egg on my face made it hard to be clearly audible, but I was listening to the Voice of Reason rather than talking.In that voice, a few cracks appeared too...
Next day Saturday (2 November), before Leia's year-end rock concert, I had a quick pep-up Chai Latte and, upon exiting, saw the Prof sitting waiting for me there... little missus and I duly visited the following day, enjoying fireworks meat and generally having an awesome time when... kaboom! Cats and dogs were flying from trees while I made my hasty exit - rain or watery eyes, I couldn't tell - but that's just the thing with lab experiments like these...
In the name of Conviviality, for no better reason presenting itself, we spent four painful days exchanging bland daily update communications, until I plucked out that little deck of cards to use them like match-sticks to open my darn spiritual eyes to the sorry scene playing out in my midst.
6 November 2013
I didn't track questions, names or numbers in this state of mind, but here is the message I received during my rush reading:
'If your heart aches because someone is breaking it, this discomfort will lead you to a more authentic life. Don't linger in the pain, or blame those alerting you to the illusion you clung to. Know that treasure lies elsewhere and can be recovered once you've healed the wound that is reflected in he who comes to you as catalyst for growth. As you experience yourself transforming into the highest version of yourself, you'll come to experience that you're always fortunate when you meet up with a Magical Map Shifter.'
At least mentally, this woke me up to the fact that Journey Henceforth was meant to be walked separately. Ah well, free as birds I set us, straight I thought. What a crazy-heart phase... Three days later, and we're chatting away again. But twice my lab was to be visited, twice not. Puncture!
10 November 2013
In the name of Conviviality, for no better reason presenting itself, we spent four painful days exchanging bland daily update communications, until I plucked out that little deck of cards to use them like match-sticks to open my darn spiritual eyes to the sorry scene playing out in my midst.
6 November 2013
I didn't track questions, names or numbers in this state of mind, but here is the message I received during my rush reading:
'If your heart aches because someone is breaking it, this discomfort will lead you to a more authentic life. Don't linger in the pain, or blame those alerting you to the illusion you clung to. Know that treasure lies elsewhere and can be recovered once you've healed the wound that is reflected in he who comes to you as catalyst for growth. As you experience yourself transforming into the highest version of yourself, you'll come to experience that you're always fortunate when you meet up with a Magical Map Shifter.'
At least mentally, this woke me up to the fact that Journey Henceforth was meant to be walked separately. Ah well, free as birds I set us, straight I thought. What a crazy-heart phase... Three days later, and we're chatting away again. But twice my lab was to be visited, twice not. Puncture!
10 November 2013
The next night, I had a surreal dream awakening me, so I penned it down before heading back to Lalaland at 5a.m.:
"When we started off, believing 100% in something, meant it was 100% irrefutably right. That something for a child usually being themselves, nothing they do, say or feel was wrong. Our beliefs suffering impotence unexpressed, we naturally gave the world an authentic, unedited version of ourselves – and it didn’t have to make sense. It just was what it was…
"When we started off, believing 100% in something, meant it was 100% irrefutably right. That something for a child usually being themselves, nothing they do, say or feel was wrong. Our beliefs suffering impotence unexpressed, we naturally gave the world an authentic, unedited version of ourselves – and it didn’t have to make sense. It just was what it was…
On reflection, I sat in a mirrored room (one of those in
a theme park) seeing warbled versions of the same scene play
out around me – completely different, depending which mirror I looked at.
Suddenly, they all went dark and I found only me there in the scene (smaller,
younger) enacting a totally different (simpler) version of the same scene,
loved it, so: did a kind of chicken-dance."
I realised that early morning that we’re each that kid digging around
inside for our authenticity – a way to cut the crap and get back to basics.
Pure unadulterated enjoyment. Just the moment.
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